The beginning of the end…

No, I am not referring to Avengers: Endgame, although I did get my opening night ticket already. I am referring to my LLM program. I had my first meeting with my dissertation supervisor yesterday, and so begins the final leg of this journey.

As I’ve posted about previously, the last several months have posed challenges, particularly on the health front. Things seem to be settling down in that area, although there remains uncertainty with some of the health issues. Despite that, my grade last semester was consistent with prior semesters and the health issues ultimately were not a factor in my final grade. My GPA currently sits just 1 point below the level that would meet my goal of graduating with (the equivalent of) honors – something I was never able to achieve in the past (a recent ADHD diagnosis helped give me better understanding of my past under-achievement, which really may have been over-achievement, all things considered). I’m within the discretionary window, I believe, but I want to earn that distinction on my own merit.

My dissertation is worth 1/3 of my total credit units, so it will ultimately determine whether I am able to achieve my stated goal. That is a lot of pressure to have hanging over me these next few months. It also comes at a time when I am trying not to succumb to burn-out. After nearly 3 years of dealing with a full-time job plus school part time, and teaching a law school class during the summer when I wasn’t in school, I’m a bit drained. The illness – and particularly the various frustrations ancillary to it (I haven’t been able to play hockey for over 6 months now and I spent months dealing with the red tape to begin really treating the underlying issue) – had also taken a toll. Add to that the recent launch of my side business (more on that in a future post) and it’s a wonder I’m coherent.

The positive (but also a negative) is that I’m writing on a topic that is cutting edge, that is timely (as I have formulated it), and that hasn’t been covered much in legal scholarship yet. That does have a drawback in that it will be harder to find resources I’ll need to do my research. But it also means that it has the potential to attract attention and maybe play a role in future policy debates (particularly if I can get it published somewhere). My dissertation supervisor expressed that he is intrigued by and excited about the topic, which made me feel better about it. And, unlike my general coursework and the last paper I will have to write for this semester’s course, I do feel some excitement about the opportunity to write on something that personally interests me and that actually relates back to my “day job.”

And as school winds down, I can start shifting more of my focus toward my side business, which is a creative an endeavor and therefore a nice change from the law. I also have two trips on the horizon – a conference in Edinburgh (which will also allow me to do some on-campus research and meet my dissertation supervisor in person) and a 16ish day trip over the summer that will include 4 to 6 (5 – 7 if you count an airport layover) different European countries and at least 2 places on my long travel bucket list (Dubrovnik, Croatia aka Kings Landing and Bled, Slovenia). And, since I’m not playing hockey on the weekends, I’m trying to get out a little more and be more social, to meet new people (as well as reconnect with existing friends).

So, while I’m burned out, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and a couple of rest stops along the way if I can just keep moving forward…

Fade in…

Scene – it’s 5:40am, our protagonist is sound asleep.

Suddenly, razor sharp claws penetrate the protagonist’s foot. She bolts awake, sitting upright with a loud yelp. A stream of profanity follows, punctuated occasionally by the name “Elsa.”

The camera pans to the foot of the bed where a brown  demon with glowing eyes sits with a menacing grin.

The protagonist blinks and looks again to see an innocent-looking brown cat looking at the protagonist quizzically, wondering why the protagonist just shouted her name and flung profanity at her.

The protagonist lies back down, glaring at the cat.

Protagonist: “leave my damn feet alone, Elsa. I’m trying to sleep.”

As the protagonist drifts back to sleep, the cat coalesces back into the glowing-eyed demon and lets out an evil little chuckle.

Fade out…